[Monday May 22nd, 2006] [ mood | thoughtful ] Here's your Libra horoscope for Monday, May 22nd, provided by Astrology.com: Act now, ask questions later. Your instincts tell you the right step to take. Second-guessing yourself will just lead to more complications. Learn to trust what your gut is telling you and follow it. read (0) cmnt

[Saturday January 7th, 2006] [ mood | contemplative ] Jas's POV ( butterfly in a box ) read (0) cmnt

[Thursday December 29th, 2005] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | default; taking my life away ] Paisley's POV She didn't come home for Christmas. She didn't come home for Christmas Eve, she didn't come home for Boxing day, she didn't come home; she just didn't fucking come home. I don't understand how they hang on to this tiny streak of hope that she's alive. She isn't alive. The Samara I knew would never do something like this while she was alive. Okay, I have to admit, the end of her note had my hopes up a little bit too. But now? No. It is 100% definite that Samara Emrys is indeed, dead again. Stupid whore could have at least told us where she chose to end her life. Maybe I should go and check that stupid rat trap house again. I've checked it a million times over the past four months, and I can't drag my heart away from it. Because it's possibly the place she loved best. Maybe I'm kidding myself; maybe I really do think she's alive. I don't know. Sometimes.....sometimes, drinking yourself senseless is the only thing you do know. Now I wait Wish these thoughts would go away I hope I dream of you Cause it's taking my life away read (0) cmnt

[Saturday November 19th, 2005] [ mood | awake ] [ music | anna nalick - breathe (2 am) ] IT'S SNOWING. SNOW. IN AVALON. FOR ONCE IN LIKE TWELVE YEARS. I'm going to get myself a coffee from the coffee shop down the street and mourn the loss of my life. read (0) cmnt

[Saturday September 10th, 2005] [ mood | confused ] It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss read (0) cmnt

[Monday August 29th, 2005] [ mood | exanimate ] Paisley's POV Samara: 2 AM, and you call me 'cause I'm still awake: "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season" Yeah, we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize, Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason Rue: There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around. Nafalti: But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it. Myself: 2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to read (0) cmnt

IT'S SO EARLY. [Thursday August 11th, 2005] [ mood | bouncy ] Collarbone still hurts like hell where it was cut two days ago. Also, dyed hair black. Trying to look different so Paisley won't know it's me. If she sees me. Am typing in unproper sentences, trying to be quiet, 10:15 in morning, whole building (they wake up at like 11) is quiet/still asleep. Besides me. And Rosalyn, up at 8:00 to start cooking. Meetings are boring. Assassinating is fun. Hanging out with Jas is fun. < 3 We found some music on Aubrey's computer that makes him seem like a crossdresser (!). This is a little worrying. Also, at meetings that Jas and Holly cater, they keep dishing out extra napkins even though they're not needed. The comittee says it's annoying, but Aubrey loves it. Says it's funny. I think I'm going to go smack Jas with pillows to wake her up. Both have day off today. Go down to Acitius. Be inconspicuous. Yum. - (sa)Mara read (0) cmnt

[Monday May 30th, 2005] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | truly, madly, deeply - savage garden ] Jas's POV ( and as I skipped past, I saw my reflection in Jue's mirror. ) read (0) cmnt

[Tuesday May 3rd, 2005] i feel safe with you i can be myself tonight it's alright with you cause you hold my secrets tight you do you do you make me wanna lala in the...conference room, underneath the table? wait a minute... where the fuck am i? read (0) cmnt

[Tuesday April 26th, 2005] [ mood | crappy ] And when you wanted blood, I cut my veins. And when you wanted love, I bled myself again. Now that I've had my fill of you, I'd give you up forever. And here i go far away, I know you, you'll find another slave. read (0) cmnt

[Saturday April 23rd, 2005] [ mood | awake ] when things go wrong i pretend that the past isn't real now i'm trapped in this memory and i'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react even though you're close to me you're still so distant and i can't bring you back this is a good, safe place to stop. everything will be fine if i stop thinking right here. no. it's true, the way i feel was promised by your face the sound of your voice painted on my memories even if you're not with me i'm with you. read (0) cmnt

[Wednesday April 13th, 2005] i'm not breathing i'm suffocating without you do you feel that too? I don't think you do. I don't think you even know I'm talking about you. read (0) cmnt

[Monday April 11th, 2005] she's lying on her bed alone in the dark remember's what's said staring at the marks she's into deep crying herself to sleep there's not much i can do she's too far away remember all the good forget all the bad she lives with her mother but misses her dad paisley, it's not your fault stop blaming yourself it was never your call and i really wanna help read (0) cmnt

[Wednesday March 16th, 2005] [ mood | freaked ] Paisley's POV I. Can't. Find. Rue. Well, technically, I found her but I have no effing clue how to get her back. Ajhfjrhtjkett. Okay. I'm better. So anyways, I thought, what the hell, why not go home for now. I wasn't expecting anybody to be home, and I didn't think there was anybody home, until, after kicking off my shoes, dumping my coat on the closet floor (Fia doesn't have to know it was me) and sashaying down the hallway, I noticed Foxxina. She was sitting on the living room couch with her knees drawn up to her chest and her fingers laced across her legs. She looked sorta petrified, so I leaned against the doorway and said "Foxxi?" When she didn't reply, my suspicions were aroused. "Foxxina, Kaylin's at work, right? So where's Mara?" She remained silent and I turned back to the hallway and followed it to the stairway at the end. "SAMARAAA, YOU EEJIT, I'M BACK." No answer. Slightly cross now that no one was around to watch my brilliant return, I returned to the living room and slid onto the couch. "Foxxi, what's up? What'd I do to deserve the silent treatment?" It was then that I noticed the rolled up post-it note she was holding. I pried it out of her hand and unfolded it, skimming the contents with disbelief. You're not going to be able to find me this time. None of you. 'Cause there's only one person who can get me outta this mess now. And they don't really give a damn about me anymore. -Samara read (0) cmnt

Stupid Foxxi. [Tuesday March 1st, 2005] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day ] After a thorough observation of this journal (!), Foxxina proclaimed that I've never once written about the killing I've done. Even though SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THIS, she's right. "Well, what am I supposed to say? Put down a step by step guide?" "You know what I mean, Samara." "No, I don't. Am I supposed to give you a count of the number of people I've killed?" Foxxina unscrewed the lid off a container of Royal Blue nail polish. "It just makes you sound like a murderer who doesn't give a crap that they kill. You're like, way better than that." read (0) cmnt

"I hate when this house is quiet." [Monday February 28th, 2005] [ mood | blah ] Paisley left today. It's amazing how much of a difference there is. I never thought about how much noise she makes in this house. She's not just walking down the stairs, she's running full force down the stairs. She's not just eating, she's throwing dry Cheerios at everyone else at the table. I hope she gets back from finding Rue soon. She supposedly left with a clue as to where she was supposed to look, but I'm not quite sure I believe her. I hate when this house is quiet. I hate it. It reminds me of Death. I don't know why. read (0) cmnt

Gotta bad feeling about this. [Monday February 14th, 2005] [ mood | freaked out ] Something doesn't feel right in this house. read (0) cmnt

promisemeplease [Monday February 14th, 2005] [ mood | scared ] Paisley's POV "Promise me you won't tell I did it promise me Rue promise me don't resist it or I'll kill you promise me promise me promise me" read (0) cmnt

Lie here and die. [Sunday January 23rd, 2005] [ mood | depressed ] No one understands, No one hears my plea. I know you're gone but in my heart I know that we were meant to be. I never thought I'd die so soon. I seemed so happy. How could any one have known? Tomorrow holds nothing but darkness and pain. The sky is always dark. It starts to rain. I take the knife in my left hand, This is what the fates demand. I don't know how to let you go, How do you say goodbye? How do you watch your soulmate walk away? I wish I could make you turn around and see me cry. I wish I could make you turn around and watch me die. I need to realize that now you're gone. I should know you're never coming back. Why did you go away? I would have done anything to make you stay! I slit my wrist, I hit the floor, I know it's over, I close the door. There's no one here to hear my scream, There's no one here to end this dream. I am all alone and I don't even care, I tried to look for hope... but the world was bare. I lie here and die. It'll all be over soon. There's nothing anyone could have done. I say good-bye to the only one. read (0) cmnt

none [Friday December 31st, 2004] [ mood | drunk ] Paisley's POV ten minutes to midnight i think ive had too much to drink read (0) cmnt

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